Boneyard Bistro

GUEST BLOGGER: Dr Rush

I've had a lot of great food and burgers while visiting LA: Umami, Golden State, Animal, Soot Bowl Jeep and Zankou to name a few.  However, it's my trip to Boneyard Bistro and their Kobe beef chili filled donuts that warranted a write up.  

These things fall somewhere between a pork bun and a slider.  A warm and fluffy donut (no hole) filled with Kobe beef chili.  This doesn't sound too much like a burger, but the melted cheese and pickle slice  on top push this little sucker into burger territory.  Whatever you want to call it, it's delicious, comes highly recommended and guaranteed to take a few years off your life.  Boneyard also has a lot of good beer on tap and some awesome onion rings that aren't on the menu, perfect for those looking for that deep fried, state fair experience.

Holy Grale - Louisville, KY

"Good beer and good company is the only thing we pray for in this house of worship."

Being a bearded Jew, I don't often visit many churches. But when I heard that the Louisville Beer Store opened a bar in an old Unitarian Church, I had to check it out.  

Behind the dark hardwood bourbon barrel bar, surrounded by crosses and shelves of glasses, sits a ginormous chalkboard listing the vast selection of draft beers. For several minutes I lost myself scanning the list, deciding on which beer to imbibe. But then I remembered what I came here for: the burger!

Medium rare, served on a toasted German pretzel bun with Benton's bacon, caramelized onions, cheddar, arugula, frites sauce, and topped with two tiny pickles.

Pro Tip: Save the pickles for last and use the toothpick holding them to clean out any delectable burger remnants left in your teeth.

Bearded Jew Out.

On the Decline of McDonald's

9pm on a Saturday, I'm sitting at a McDonald's in downtown Denver, pondering the Yacht show I'd been kicked out of earlier. I should've known better then to expect tickets at the box office for such an up and coming band, but I took my chances. What can I say, I live on the edge? Well, turns out my edge living didn't get me tickets. All it got me was an hour long bus ride, a big sold out sign, and a friendly conversation with the bartender over a beer before she politely asked me to leave.

I stepped in to the 45 degree night, popped in my headphones and cranked up some Gorillaz, laughing to myself and loudly singing as I pondered my next step. I walked aimlessly through downtown for 20 minutes, unfocused and slightly frustrated that I'd missed the concert.

As I turned the corner the wind kicked it up a notch, burning my cheeks and nose, making me regret even coming out for the night, and that's when I saw saw the bright golden arches beaming triumphantly. As if on cue, my stomach moaned, hungry for the traditional McD's fair: Burger, McNuggets, Fries. Dollar menu heroes. All delicious on their own, but even better in combo.

I figured this was a good opportunity to warm up, use the bathroom and fill my stomach before I continued my long walk home.

As I tossed the last McNugget in my mouth, I noticed a group of youths congregating at the front of the restaurant. A girl  pulled a few ounces of weed out from her too large for her leather jacket and laughed loudly as she handed them off to kids queuing up. An employee bussing tables looked at me and said "wow", then went back to wiping down tables, deciding to do nothing. 

I thought about saying something to the manager, making sure they'd noticed the obvious lack of respect for the American legend we stood within (I call all McDonald's this, even the one's in airports), but I decided it wasn't any of my business. I had quite a walk ahead of me and I was alone. Why should I put my safety in jeopardy when several employees clearly saw what was happening and chose to say nothing?

So I finished the last scraps of my dollar menu delights, tossed the remains in the trash like a decent honest American, and left. And as I stepped outside I watched as dozens of grinning faces exited the restaurant with bags of weed, laughing at the stupidity of the McDonald's staff for allowing a 16 year old Scarface wannabe to sit inside and deal drugs openly.

I walked through the biting wind, recalling similar incidents I'd witnessed at other McDonald's in Hollywood, Baltimore, and New York. I started to wonder: How had my favorite childhood restaurant become such a place of ill repute? Do the staff just give up on Saturday nights? Has the most American place in America become so complacent that it's now known as the place open late where you can rent Red Box DVDs and buy drugs from a 16 year old?

Later that night I realized that I'd been witness to another crime, unnoticed until I arrived home: I'd actually spent more money at McDonald's that night than I had at the bar.

Bearded Jew Out.